8.8.17

Blessing? Trial? Both?




God gives us what we can handle. I had heard it a thousand times in my life, but it never sank in until now. He gives us trials, hardships, and challenges to help us learn, grow, and to better ourselves. So in the beginning when things felt impossible, when I was terrified of what could possibly be wrong with our new, perfect baby, when I caught myself thinking, "why?" I can know that he gave us what we could handle. And nothing more. 

We love Lee. He is the greatest blessing and I can't imagine life without him! But sometimes I can't help thinking that if he had come just a little later, life would've been much easier. Casey was graduating, studying for the MCAT, applying for medical school, and we had to move. All of this within the first two months of having a newborn baby. Add a pretty rough c-section recovery, and a newborn baby on oxygen, and needless to say, it was a bit of a rough start. Here I am sounding like having a newborn baby is hard. HA! I knew our little Lee was a blessing, but then why did this feel like a trial?

"Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."
Doctrine and Covenants 122:7

It seems like whenever I feel I've reached the end, I've gone as far as I can go, and my emotional, physical, and mental tanks are empty, Heavenly Father sends me a tender mercy. I'm starting to feel like we're mostly out of the woods of his newborn stage. But what I've realized is how grateful I am for a Heavenly Father who knows us, who wants us to grow, and who is merciful enough to bless us when he knows we've hit the limit.

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