|^^ a few photos from my baby shower in Arizona. I've been lucky enough to overlap pregnancies with 3 of my 5 sisters! I feel so supported and blessed. ^^|
I can't believe this is the first time I've posted anything about being pregnant! Actually I lied I've been avoiding this. But that's still crazy that I'm 32 weeks pregnant and haven't done any type of update. But that's because pregnancy has been really hard. Emotionally, physical and mentally! I don't know how people make this look so glamorous and easy. IT IS NOT EASY. Here's a few updates, if you care.
How do you feel? Have you been sick?
If we haven't talked since I've been pregnant, I'll give you a quick rundown on how this thing has gone. The first trimester I was sick sick sick. I was maxed out on my morning sickness pills but was still throwing up, and was living on toasted bagels and cream cheese (I was only kind of mad about this - toasted bagels are one of my favorite foods). Like most women, I was struggling to stay awake throughout the day, which made working a full time job tough. And the worst part - you can't even tell anyone about it! So I felt like a sick, lazy bum for most of the time, but nobody knew why I was being a sick, tired, lazy bum. Mentally, the first trimester was full of uncertainty, and honestly, a little bit of freaking out. Every time I would feel something new, I would panic and call my sister. Every time I threw up I called my mom and made her remind me that it was all worth it. Turns out growing a baby isn't all fun, games and cute little baby bumps.
My second trimester I got back a little energy and the vomiting subsided. I even got to the gym a few times! However, once the third trimester came, the morning sickness was back, and with a vengeance... along with all the other pains of having a 30+ week old strapped onto your front at all times. I will say, when the kicking and moving around started, it helped. Feeling my baby move is one of the best feelings and a great blessing. Knowing he's healthy and happy in there means everything to me.
OMG YOU LOOK GREAT!
Well, thank you! You have to tell me I look great even if you don't think so, but either way THANK YOU! Thanks for not asking if I'm not having twins, or telling me I look huge. I'm self-aware enough to know I've gained some baby weight, but also aware enough to know that for a small person, I'm just the right amount of pregnant here. I see myself in the mirror, so there's no need for you to remind me how big my belly actually is. I AM WELL AWARE. I am reminded every morning when I struggle to put on shoes. Or when I accidentally bump into people because I forget I'm 3x as wide in the belly region. Or when every day there's another shirt in my closet that won't cover my baby bump. Getting bigger (in every way) has been the hardest part of this thing for me. Every other time in my life I could look at myself in the mirror, and if I was unhappy about the state of my health or weight, I could adjust my diet and exersize to get to where I wanted to be. This time that's not the case. I had to come to terms with the fact that some people's bodies just need to gain a little, and it's okay, and it's good for the baby sometimes! It's just so hard to come to terms with mentally. But I'm healthy and so is the baby, so thanks for telling me I look good! Just don't lie to me and tell me I'm glowing, we both know that's self-tanner and some awesome highlighter I've got working for me.
A little bit of advice if you're pregnant: GO GET MATERNITY CLOTHES. I waited until last week to get any and holy cow they are a GAME changer. I am so much more comfortable and cute. Just go. And don't be freaked out by sizing. People who size maternity clothes are idiots. I typically wear a size 4 jeans and today I'm wearing a size 14 from H&M. Just ignore sizes and get what looks good and is comfortable. Mostly just go to Target because they've got some great basics and are actually so cute.
How's the baby?
Speaking of big baby bumps — well, I've got a big one. My baby is big. Bottom line. That's it. My ribs are bruised from him constantly kicking and stretching all day. My doctor called him "a linebacker." I can't imagine getting any bigger, but I swear this belly gets bigger by the day! Lots of old ladies tell me that if my baby is big, he'll be a good sleeper. So I'm banking on that. We're just happy he's healthy.
What's his name?
He doesn't have one yet! He's not even born yet. Plus, if I knew, do you think I'd tell you, random stranger on the internet? We've got a few favorites we like, but we'll have to wait till we see him to decide.
Are you ready??
Well, no. We've got most of the stuff we need. A stroller, crib, diaper bag, some clothes. We still have a few essentials to pick up. Mentally and emotionally are we ready? I'd say no. It sort of feels like it's never going to happen. I think one day I'll just wake up and my life will be completely different. Every day I come to a new realization of something to worry about. One morning at 2:30 AM when I was taking one of my many nightly bathroom breaks, I had the realization that I won't be able to watch my baby 24/7 if I ever wanted to sleep. The other day I had my first pregnancy leg cramp, and after almost being brought to tears I realized that would be NOTHING compared to childbirth.
Everyone tells us to get our and go on dates and do things you can't do when you have baby! Well, to be honest I'm just too dang tired to do just about anything these days. Casey has started preparing for graduation and life thereafter, so he's pretty tired too. So we're just enjoying the time we get to spend together, sitting on the couch, feeling our baby move, and watching a lot of basketball. I'm SO excited for our baby boy to come and I couldn't be happier.