I didn't expect to post something like this today, but I've had some stuff on my mind for a little while.
Sometimes I just thing Instagram and Twitter and my blog are just so stupid. Like why do I put my personal life out for the whole world to see? Why do I find it so important for everyone to know that I just watched a movie or I baked the best cinnamon rolls ever or that I'm just so obsessed with my husband. Does keeping it to myself make it less special?
What am I looking for, posting my whole life out there? I'm not doing it for self esteem boosts because I'm pretty sure I'm sure of myself, I don't think I'm trying to get famous.
Maybe I just feel like I started something and I've come too far to just stop. Maybe I feel like what I'm doing has so much potential to affect people in a positive way that stopping now would only be limiting the good I can do in the world. What if this is good, but I can be doing something better somewhere else? Why is the idea of letting it all go scary to me? It's not just what other people think. I enjoy sharing. I always have. I love discovering similarities in people lives. I love observing how people live, how they exist, and I love interacting with them. I love sharing.
But then why does it just seem so redundant to be sharing these things with everyone? Why does it all seem so meaningless? I know there's some meaning in there. I've felt it. But it's so overshadowed by superficial things that I just think it's so stupid sometimes.
I know, that's pretty straight forward, but I'm trying something. I'm not gonna blog for a while. I don’t focus on my blog a lot, and I don’t stress over it AT ALL but it’s just still kind of this lingering thing that I think about every once in a while. I love to share things, and it makes it all worth it when I get messages from girls who really personally relate to something I've shared. Then I feel like there’s an expectation for me to keep sharing. And I don’t know if I like that.
This isn't a promise that I'm deleting my blog, or that I'm deleting any social media at all. I'm just going to try. Try to focus on my own life, and what I'm doing, and make more stuff. It's not like my blog is a distraction, but I just want to take a break, and see what happens.
So if you don't see anything posted here for a while, that's why. I just thought I'd let you know. I don't know if more than 10 people consistently read this stuff, but in my mind you're all my friends and I love you all, so keep it real and I'll see you on the gram.
Shoutout to my husband Casey for always being cool with me sharing so much of our lives with the entire internet, even though he hardly ever checks up on my blog and he probably won't ever see this, I just love you babe.